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Listening Lovers November 2024

What's New?

November is here and so is the cold weather. Let us help you heat things up! As always, here at FTLOI we listen to what you want and do our very best to add to our stock. From new lingerie, new toys, and even new enhancement products, we always try to help you find what you're looking for.

Some of the newest products we have include the Kiiroo line of masturbators. This versatile line of products can be purchased separately and still used together when desired. One of them is the Kiiroo Power Blow. This is a attachment placed on one end of the stroker and it creates a vacuum suction to simulate a blowjob. It is able to attach to any of the Kiiroo strokers and even some strokers from other brands, like Fleshlight. The PowerBlow is Bluetooth compatible, meaning you can play interactive games, connect to a cam show, and even connect and control your toy from an app or have someone else control it for you.

Does having someone else control the toy you are using seem exciting to you? Check out our newest addition from Nu Sensuelle. The Nu Sensuelle Pleasure Panty Rechargeable Remote Control 15 Function Bullet is a product that is sure to keep the good vibes going. This toy comes with panties that fit up to a 55 inch waist and has a remote control bullet with four different color options. This bullet has a strong vibration and can be used on its own or put into another pair of your favorite panties. The remote for these panties can also work with some of their other products like the Remote Control Bullet Plus, Petite Egg, Mini Plug, and Remote Control 15-Function Bullet USB Rechargeable Cock Ring.


Will It Work?

Do you want to make your vagina feel tight like you've never had sex before? Do you think your vagina is now "loose" for some reason? There are plenty of products out on the market that are advertising to make your vagina feel tighter. Products like shrink creams are advertised to work instantly, with some even going as far to say it'll have you feeling like it's your first time all over again. However, what is actually happening? Are these products actually shrinking and tightening your vagina?

 If you are considering using products like shrink creams then understanding how they work is crucial. Shrink creams have ingredients in them like potassium alum, an astringent, which causes the tissues to contract and dry out the mucous membrane of the vagina. This drying effect will greatly reduce the amount of natural lubrication your body is producing. Lack of lubrication during sex may make sex less enjoyable, even painful. In addition to the pain that occurs due to friction, you could even develop tears in the skin which could lead to further issues like an infection. Lastly, it is not actually shrinking or tightening the vagina.

This raises an important question. How should a vagina feel? Should a vagina be so "tight" you can barely get anything to go in? All vaginas are different, and they have subtly different textures along with elasticity. When people refer to how "tight" ones vagina is they are typically referring to the elasticity of it. The elasticity of a vagina is determined by the presence of elastin fibers and collagen in the adventitia. The adventitia helps provided structure and allows the vagina to expand when participating in activities like sex and childbirth. Just because you feel your vagina may not be as "tight" as it was however many years ago, or before you had children, does not mean that you are "loose." Many different factors determine the elasticity of someone's vagina, like: age, medications, level of sexual activity, hormone levels, and even diet. While there is not a product to permanently make you "tighter" there are products to help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles which could help you to strengthen your vagina.

Vaginas are a muscular, elastic tubes that are supported by a group of muscles referred to as the pelvic floor. The pelvic floor muscles also provide support for the uterus, bladder, small intestine, and the rectum. People that have a weak pelvic floor may experience pain during sex, incontinence, excessive straining when using the bathroom, a prolapse of the vagina or anus, even unexplainable pain in the lower back or pelvic area. These muscles, like all muscles, can be trained and strengthened over time. Many different factors, including age, diet, weight, previous injuries, and childbirth, can affect the strength of the pelvic floor. People that have a weak pelvic floor may think that their vagina has "become looser" but in reality it's just that the muscles have weakened. Strengthening the pelvic floor can help to strengthen the vagina along with improving the muscle control and sexual response.

The pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened by doing a simple pelvic floor exercise, known as Kegel exercises. These exercises where first introduced around 1948 by Arnold Kegel, hence the name Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises can be done without any special equipment, or if you want to use Kegel balls that's an option as well. Kegel balls range in sizes and materials, but they are essentially a little weighted ball placed into the vagina so you have something to grip and hold onto when preforming the exercise. Kegel exercises are done by contracting your pelvic floor (same action as holding your pee), holding for about 3-5 seconds, releasing about 3-5 seconds, and repeating that about 10-12 times. Preforming this exercise up to three times a day is a good starting point when trying to strengthen the pelvic floor and will lead to long term results.

So, should you use a shrink cream? Ultimately the decision will come down to you. We here at FTLOI do not recommend shrink creams as they can cause more issues than benefits. Remember shrink creams will only dry out the mucous membrane, stripping the body of the natural lubrication that occurs. No product will instantly or permanently make your vagina "tight." Your vagina is a muscle that does not just become loose over time, even if it may lose some of its elasticity and control. The muscles of the pelvic floor may lose some strength, but Kegel exercises may help as a way to strengthen the muscles for long lasting results. If you want to strengthen your pelvic floor and try some simple strengthening exercises check out our health and wellness section to find products like Kegel balls.



Staff Stars

November is here and we are thankful for a very special person this month. We'd like to celebrate the one and only incredible Lalani. She is one of our two amazing store owners here at FTLOI. Lani is passionate and absolutely amazing at helping people achieve their deepest desires in a positive and safe way.

Lani loves exploring the world through food and creating tasty meals herself. Being outdoors and in the sunshine inspires her to get things done and always amplifies her mood. Speaking of the sunshine, Lani's kind spirit always warms those around her. Lani's favorite holiday is Christmas, and with a heart as giving as hers

that comes as no surprise.

Inspiring and helping people accomplish their desires and, "letting people have a place where they can come learn, and spice things up either for themselves or in a relationship" has always been Lani's goal. From the very beginning FTLOI has always been a place designed to help as many people as possible, and with a huge thanks to Lani, that definitely shines through everyday. Also, by having a presence in the online world with apps like TikTok, she is able to reach more people and help them learn about themselves, their partner(s), and reach their sexual wellness goals. She is an incredibly strong, selfless, and generous person and is always inspiring those around her.

Sasha Says

To submit your questions and thoughts please submit an email to info@ftloi.net 

This month’s top question from you!     

How do I start wax play?


When you begin to explore more of your sexual desires there are many different activities you may want to try, like wax play! Dripping hot wax onto the skin can be an amazing sensual feeling. While it can be a fun and exciting experience there should be precautions to take. Wax play is a type of edge/risk play, which means there is some type of safety risk involved in the activity. It involves using live flames and it is important to realize that accidents and burns may occur. Before breaking out the candles, make sure you not only have a safety plan in place but also safety materials. What types of things should you consider before participating in wax play, and how do you decide what type of wax you'd like to use? Let's take a look!

When you start exploring new activities like wax play it is important to understand what the activity fully entails. First of all, what candle should you choose? While reaching for any candle around the house can be done, it is heavily discouraged due to risky and unknown higher temperatures. When deciding on a candle you want one one that is tapered. Using a tapered candle is necessary since it's easier to control where the wax falls. Tapered candles also melt less wax at one time whereas pillar candles create a large pool of liquid wax. Having less wax and more control helps to reduce the risk of accidental burns.

Next, choosing a candle with a low melting point is important to further reduce the risk of serious burns. Waxes like soy (lowest temp), paraffins, and certain blends have a lower melting point which makes them safer to use for wax play. Candles that are made specifically for wax play like the Make Me Melt candles are tapered and made of paraffin wax. The wax from these candles will still be hot, but used correctly will greatly reduce the risk of a serious injury. If you find the wax dropped on the skin is too hot, place a cool cloth over it to help take the heat out and reduce the burn. Using aftercare products like burn cream, or aloe vera on the area can help with recovering the skin and any burns that may have occurred.

Before engaging in wax play have your safety equipment ready like a cool damp cloth, bowl of water, and burn cream. Make sure when engaging in wax play you are in constant communication with your partner(s) about how the activity is going. Is the wax hot enough or would you like it to be hotter? Is it too hot? Did it leave a burn? Asking questions and constantly communicating with your partner(s) is extremely important to ensure everyone's safety and pleasure. When you finish wax play make sure you follow up with some aftercare. Allow your skin time to recover from the heat. Enjoy the moment, take your time, and heat things up!

This may sound intimidating already, but here are some simple instructions to get started actually playing with wax. Start by lighting the candle and allowing it to burn enough that the wax starts to melt. Drop the wax onto the skin by initially holding the candle about 12-18 inches above the desired area. Drop a small amount at first. Keep in mind that the closer to the skin the hotter the wax will be. If there is a short distance between the candle and skin you may experience intense heat and possibly a first degree burn which could leave some scaring. We recommend trying wax play on a test area first, like on your forearm. Holding the candle up higher will allow more time for the wax to cool before hitting the skin. A good idea is to start every session a bit higher so that you can slowly increase the heat level by moving closer.

Lastly, a few more quick points. Remember you are using a flame and to be absolutely sure this flame is nowhere near a flammable material and stored on a stable surface when in use. Next, use a material under the receiver that is fine getting stained (dyes in the wax) or wax stuck on/in it. Avoid sensitive parts of the body like head, neck, and genitals. Delicate skin has a better chance of being permanently damaged and no one wants that. Finally, stick to candles made for wax play for the best and safest experience.

We hope to help you and your partner(s) learn, grow, and enjoy together. Please submit your questions and we may be able to help answer! Check back next month to see if others are wondering the same.

XOXO~Sasha





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